Soft Skills Misc 1

https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/ii9O-YnEd7SsCKgz45Z4_w

        我们作为一个个体，组成部分有点类似一台电脑或者手机，就像这样。

     首先，得清楚，越下层的能力提高起来越难，因为它更模糊，没有清晰的正确是否、好与坏的标准来判断。

        接着，是最苍白、但也是最重要的一点：

积极主动

        在让自己更具竞争力的这个事情上，「以不变应万变」和等死无异。如果不想动、懒，那其它的都是浮云。必须要克服自己内心的懒惰或者说恐惧，迈出自己的舒适区。

        不知道多少人有在年初制定了自己宏伟的“年度励志目标”，现在完成如何了？说好要学的东西，是否只是草草的看了几篇文章就觉得自己什么都懂了？作为一个过来人，又要提一个老梗了。

不要在表面浮潜，输出是最好的输入。

        说真的，实践出真知，哪怕没机会实践，多多思考、写写文章、做做演讲也是将碎片知识进行整合、系统化的过程，夯实对某个事物的理解并沉淀下来。

        总结一下，想要提升自己的核心竞争力，可以按以下的顺序去做。

1. 调整为积极主动的心态
2. 设立目标
3. 分解目标
4. 尽可能找与工作的重合点
5. 不要一直在表面浮潜，输出永远是最好的输入
6. 借力突破瓶颈

        「借力」其实是一个等价交换的过程，如果你对别人没有一丁点价值，除了你的至亲外，别人为什么要帮你呢？他们为什么不去找一个对自身更有帮助的人合作呢？正常来说，在我们达到瓶颈前进行的自我修炼，就是塑造自身价值的过程，这些价值肯定会对一部分群体是有用的，那么就可以向这些群体做交换，通过他们来「借力」。

https://medium.com/square-corner-blog/soft-skills-reading-list-a8af5a6296e5

• Slack. Not being busy all the time is crucial for change, learning, responsiveness, and retention.
• Non-Violent Communication. Moving beyond “I feel” to more effective communication.
• Crucial Conversations. Techniques for effectively communicating in high stakes conversations. The writing is terrible, but the content is good.
• The Definitive Book of Body Language. Pretty dated, but worth a skim.
• On Writing Well. Best guide to effective non-fiction writing. You’ll be doing a lot of writing—helps to be good at it!
• Good Strategy, Bad Strategy. My default framework for thinking about strategy. Diagnosis, Guiding Policy, Coherent Action. Decent summaries easily found online but there’s value in marinating in the examples in the book.
• Catalytic Coaching. Critique of typical performance review systems, and recommendations for doing something useful instead.
• First, Break All The Rules. Gallup studied more than 80,000 managers to identify what the great ones do. Particularly important for first-time managers are the 12 questions that matter.
• High Output Management. The blueprint for how I think about management.
• The Hard Thing About Hard Things. Good assortment of real talk about management.
• The Gervais Principle. Tongue-in-cheek cynical look at organisations through the lens of The Office. Fun, sometimes useful.
• Thinking, Fast and Slow. Cognitive biases are important to know about, though be aware that some of this book was caught up in the replication crisis and is no longer thought to be true.

• Inferential Distance. A common explanation for engineers (or anyone, really) talking past each other.
• The Tyranny Of Structurelessness. A counterpoint to the idea of Meritocracy.
• Reorgs Happen. I really like the Managing Complex Change diagram.
• The Manager As Debugger. Good way to think about one of the roles of a manager.
• A Big Little Idea Called Legibility. Has been particularly helpful in thinking about associated costs with introducing processes.

http://www.10tiao.com/html/145/201801/2650611048/1.html

孔子说：“三人行，必有我师”。原意中的三是虚数，泛指多人，意思是身边的任何人都可以成为我们的老师，拥有值得我们学习的地方。成长的路，本是一条越走人越少的路，但若有伙伴同行，我们会走得更远，走得更久。这就是成长路上的三人行。

三类人，而非三个人，它们指：

• 前辈
• 平辈
• 后辈

三类人代表了不同的成长路径和成长阶段，你应该有一个动态的列表，在成长的不同阶段将这三类人中的典型代表放在这个列表中仔细观察。

如果放在职场上，前辈就是你的上级，是比你更资深和有经验的人；平辈就是你的同事，你们在各自领域各有所长，甚至在同一领域做的比你更好的人，但肯定是让你尊敬的人； 后辈就是你的下级，他们也许正在走你曾经走过的路，他们也正在做你曾经一年、两年或三年前做过的事，而且可能做得比你当时更好。

如果你在身边都找到了这三类人的典型代表，你观察他们，便是以他们为尺来度量自己；你学习他们，便是以他们为模来塑造自己；你加入他们，便是从后辈的重复中去反思过去，从平辈的领域中去扩展当下，从前辈的脚印中去引领未来。

前辈

前辈，是那些走在你前面的人，他们不止一个，每个人都有不同的路径。观察他们的路径，哪个更适合自己，哪个人的哪些方面让你甚至想要去模仿。在职场上，这些人似乎都有差不多的等级，但实际上每个人都有不同的路径。

而后辈们，既可能重复犯下曾经的错误，也可能走出更好的路径。通过观察他们的来路，我反省到了过去的错误，也看到了更好的路径。

我们无法改变现实的过去，但可以从思想上修正过去，以更好的作用于现在与未来。

http://www.aaronsw.com/weblog/dweck

Dweck, like many adults, had learned to hide her frustration and anger, to politely say “I’m not sure I want to play this anymore” instead of knocking over the board. She figured the successful kids would be the same — they’d have tactics for coping with failure instead of getting beaten down by it.

But what she found was radically different. The successful kids didn’t just live with failure, they loved it! When the going got tough, they didn’t start blaming themselves; they licked their lips and said “I love a challenge.” They’d say stuff like “The harder it gets the harder I need to try.”

Instead of complaining it wasn’t fun when the puzzles got harder, they’d psych themselves up, saying “I’ve almost got it now” or “I did it before, I can do it again.” One kid, upon being a given a really hard puzzle, one that was supposed to be obviously impossible to solve, just looked up at the experimenter with a smile and said, “You know, I was hoping this would be informative.”³

Dweck called this the “fixed mindset” — the belief that your abilities are fixed and that the world is just a series of tests that show you how good you are.

The successful kids believed precisely the opposite: that everything came through effort and that the world was full of interesting challenges that could help you learn and grow. (Dweck called this the “growth mindset.”) That’s why they were so thrilled by the harder puzzles — the easier ones weren’t any sort of challenge, there was nothing you could learn from them. But the really tough ones? Those were fascinating — a new skill to develop, a new problem to conquer. In later experiments, kids even asked to take puzzles home so they could work on them some more.⁴

It took a seventh-grader to explain it to her: “I think intelligence is something you have to work for…it isn’t just given to you… Most kids, if they’re not sure of an answer, will not raise their hand… But what I usually do is raise my hand, because if I’m wrong, then my mistake will be corrected. Or I will raise my hand and say… ‘I don’t get this. Can you help me?’ Just by doing that I’m increasing my intelligence.”⁵

In the fixed mindset, success comes from proving how great you are. Effort is a bad thing — if you have to try hard and ask questions, you obviously can’t be very good. When you find something you can do well, you want to do it over and over, to show how good you are at it.

In the growth mindset, success comes from growing. Effort is what it’s all about — it’s what makes you grow. When you get good at something, you put it aside and look for something harder so that you can keep growing.

Fixed-mindset people feel smart when they don’t make mistakes, growth-mindset people feel smart when they struggle with something for a long time and then finally figure it out. Fixies try to blame the world when things go bad, growthers look to see what they can change about themselves. Fixies are afraid to try hard — because if they fail, it means they’re a failure. Growthers are afraid of not trying.

In relationships, growth-mindset people looked for partners who would push them to be better, fixies just wanted someone who would put them on a pedestal (and got into terrible fights when they hit problems). 

Even small interventions — like telling students they were doing well because they tried hard, rather than because they were smart — had huge effects. With more work, she could change totally fixed-mindset people into fervent growth-mindset ones.

She herself changed, converting from a fervent fixed-mindsetter, always looking for excuses to prove how smart she was, to a growther, looking for new challenges. It was hard: “since I was taking more risks, I might look back over the day and see all the mistakes and setbacks. And feel miserable. [You feel like a zero]… you want to rush right out and rack up some high numbers.” But she resisted the urge — and became a leading psychologist instead.⁶

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The first step to getting better is believing you can get better. In her book, Mindset, Dweck explains how to start talking back to your fixed mindset. The fixed mindset says, “What if you fail? You’ll be a failure.” The growth mindset replies, “Most successful people had failures along the way.”⁷

Growth mindset has become a kind of safe word for my partner and I. Whenever we feel the other person getting defensive or refusing to try something because “I’m not any good at it”, we say “Growth mindset!” and try to approach the problem as a chance to grow, rather than a test of our abilities. It’s no longer scary, it’s just another project to work on.

https://www.create-abilities.com/products/change-of-mindset-posters

Many Different Examples of Growth Mindset
• change your words, change your mindset posters
• I don't understand/ What am I missing?
• I give up./ I'll use some of the strategies I've learned.
• I made a mistake./ Mistakes help me improve.
• This is too hard./ This may take some time and effort. 
• It's good enough./ Is this really my best work?
• I'll never be as smart as her./ I'm going to figure out what she does and try it. 
• I can't make this any better./ I can always improve. I'll keep trying.
• I can't read./ I'm going to train my brain in reading. 
• I can't.../I'm going to keep trying until I can!
• I'm not good at this./ I'm on the right track.